Normal folk must be wondering as to what all the race n class thingy are all about… and I think it is my duty as one of the chronicles compilers to tell u about his profile. How I managed to escape his wrath I do not know, but now to pay my final debt for being spared, I must tell u what I learnt…
Race: He belongs to the highly esteemed race of Molluscans (the mountain dwelling mole people)… and by mole people I mean people with a mole on their face at a particular spot. Their mission statement “Don’t make a mountain out of a mole hill”… the mole seemed very oddly placed as to obstruct one’s vision… so I had to ask him “ what’s with the mole?”… so he told me that the mole acts like a crosshair so he never misses in a gunfight.
Class: Every Molluscan belongs to a certain class… and the silent n deadliest class of all is the Maintainer… used for espionage n reconnaissance purposes, Riddiculus was a master of deception… He could simply disarm a person’s guard just by fake coughing or by using the word “actually”, sometimes more than once in the same sentence.
His first ever recorded case of maintenance was when he was in the 1st std… It was a Monday morning school day and the teacher happened to ask for his homework… This was when Riddiculus instinctively fake coughed n said “but actually I thought today is Sunday”, to which the teacher was left baffled as to why he came to school if he thought it was a Sunday or if it was indeed Sunday. Later that same day the teacher took her own life.
Alignment: Alignment here refers to a society he belongs or a moral perspective he adheres to… Riddiculus is aligned Divine-Evil, which makes him the most dangerous walking weapon on earth… unintentionally of course. There have been several instances over the years we’ve known him where he has harmed his best friends just by trying to help them.
One such instant was when he offered to help me by sitting pillion on my bike and carrying a birthday-cake-box which was rectangular in shape. Riddiculus decided that instead of holding it lengthwise, parallel to the bike, it would help to carry it the other way round, only to have it knocked by a tempo n the cake damaged beyond recognition.
Weapon Proficiency: Now this is a tricky one… One wud think that “His Wish” means that he is proficient with any weapon he wishes to use… On the contrary, his weapon is the expression “His Wish”… it is his ultimate comeback to all puns and insults and also answer to many of life’s profound questions… like “Who are we?”, “Why are we born?”, “Where do we go after we die?”, "Is mommy really a vampire?". That’s right my wolf brethren its all “His Wish”…
He’s never careful what he wishes for and he always gets it.
